Why were you born Ayoola?

1996... August 14,
My mom could have been at work,
She could have been cooking
Or better just relaxing...
But no,
She was being told to push, breathe,
"It's okay,you're almost done,she's almost out"

Why were you born,
Tutsirayiishe Laura Mhere?

Was it to fulfil the future pastor-parents' dreams,
The then normal- parents' expectations,
To be the child they read about in the baby mags and "how to parent" books

Maybe for a while...

But 1996 August 14,
Tutsirayiishe Laura Mhere,
Who was later on called Claudia Ayoola,
Graced the earth with her presence.

The future Miss change the world,
Miss I can do all things,
Miss I'll cry now but won't dwell on the past for too long exited her mothers's chambers aided by ceserian cuts and today you all witness her great exploitations.

You were born with a purpose Yola,
Flourish in it

Dear World

Underachieving,
Over thinking,
Underestimate,
Over achieving...

Is it ever enough?

We're constantly involved in this battle of doing good,
Sticking to what's right,
You know there's a path laid before us... all we gotta do is follow through right?

But...
It's never enough,
For one moment we're below par and that's not acceptable
Or we're above it and that's now pride.

What do you want world?
You say average is mediocrity but from where I'm standing it's safe.

I won't live up to your expectations but I will at least try to do something
For I see the end-place you've destined for me but I like the greener pastures I read about better

So you might see me as an : *Underachiever
And begin to :*Underestimate me

But I'm telling you now that I am capable of : *Over thinking
Which keeps me alert,
Giving me strategies which will make me an : *Over achiever
 Just you wait and see.

Ayoola Mè

Her beauty has always been her weapon.

It's true.

She has always used her eyes to lure you in,

Immediately hypnotizing you,

Putting you under her spell.

She was stunning.

Her long legs grabbed attention as she made her way past many of us

And her stainless red painted lips made you lose focus.

She had an aura about her of pure elegance and nobody could deny it.

We could never hate her, 

Even if we tried.

She.. she .. she was just perfect and she knew it.

I remember the day I heard her speak for the first time.

The way her lips parted as they mouthed out words,

She shaped them in such ... in such a different way,

So exquisite ... I was mesmerized.

She was amazing.

She carried herself so gracefully in a mature but yet tasteful way.

Oh my.

I just... 

We just handed it to her.

The world and everything else she desired.

Her beauty was her weapon 

and we were all governed by it.

Ayoola Mè 

Mend me please

For someone special...I hope you like it.

Broken and scared,

Shattered and bruised,

Alone and afraid,

Need I say more?

You managed to awaken all the terrible feelings that are attached to heartbreak

All because you broke my heart.

I'm confused and dismayed,

Annoyed and I feel betrayed,

Heartbroken and in pain,

Just because I can never call you my own again.

You clouded my vision with ease,

Made me believe that forever could exist.

I gave you my all and in turn I was the fool.

How did I nots see that what you served me was a bowl full of lust.

But I'm okay now,don't you worry.

I'm a writer, 

We never die.

I'll turn my sorrows in a song,

You'll see.

Ayoola Mè 

She said...

I looked at her.

She tried to free herself from my gaze but I didn't allow that to happen.

This was the first time I actually looked at her and I was not going to let her go.

I critically analysed her.

I undressed her inner being with a thirst that only her insides could quench.

"Please can I go now",she said.

She could sense that I was curious

This made it clear that I was hitting home,

Well almost.

"Thing is... I've been through a lot and ... and I don't think... I think it's best if I leave", she said

But I couldn't let her go.

See I was the hunter and her scarred soul the prey.

I wanted to grip my teeth and be rid of her pain.

I would then be her doctor and nurse her to health

And then sign the discharge forms and set her free.

I looked at her.

The scales of her eyes were falling off and then I knew I was making progress.

Scarlet droplets of tears paraded on her cheeks and then I heard a loud whisper directed to me,

"Please help me",she said

With that ... I began helping her script the new story of her life.

Ayoola Mè 

How do you expect me to love being here when all you do is arouse my desire to leave?

I ... I can't take this anymore.

Ever since I can remember I've always looked for open doors.

I have always wanted to run away,

Packed my suitcase and all.

I knew this wasn't it... it just wasn't.

To think that many out there envy me breaks my heart.

'If only you knew', I think.

Picture perfect it might seem but it's a picture I would never hang on my wall.

See,

I've never experienced a quiet day.

It's either you're yelling or breaking my spirit down.

I hold in my laughter of sarcasm though every time you reprimand me and say "I've taught you things, use them" because I have had to adopt cultures from elsewhere for you were never here to install yours in me...

I DON'T KNOW YOU

And I'm not ashamed of saying it.

You don't know me either even though you like to think you do.

I am not you,

I could never be.

Maybe it's time you start accepting that.

I just want to walk out

And go somewhere.

Then maybe while I'm gone,

You'll learn to love the me that I actually am.

Ayoola Mè

Give me an audience...
 Just for a minute.
See what I have to say won't take long...
Short and sweet it will definitely hit home.

Some put their faith in chariots and many tangible material things...
Some think they're good enough to stand on their own two feet,giving themselves praises for all their accomplishments...

 But I only have one higher being I give praises & honor..
One Messiah whom I gladly bow down to & lift my hands in humble adoration.
See... I'm a born again spirit filled young world changing Christian.
 I am born of the flesh and raised by the Spirit.
My life is a wonder unto many because He who lives in me is the same yesterday,today and forever.

I may have been deemed unworthy in the eyes of the world but the fact that my name is written on the palm of His hands comforted me and because He knows the number of hairs on my head,I know I am special.

 Some may rely on positive thinking for good vibe creating
But I know that the joy of the Lord is my strength... I am catapulted from one level of glory to the next.
I have a holy ghost party no need to get drunk to turn up.

So if it wasn't made clear... let me tell you where I stand.
I am a Jesus Ambassador... the same Jesus that many people regard as normal.
I fly my Christian flag with pride and I nae nae to whatever my tongues bubble out as i soak  in prayer.

I am Ayoola Mé