How do you expect me to love being here when all you do is arouse my desire to leave?

I ... I can't take this anymore.

Ever since I can remember I've always looked for open doors.

I have always wanted to run away,

Packed my suitcase and all.

I knew this wasn't it... it just wasn't.

To think that many out there envy me breaks my heart.

'If only you knew', I think.

Picture perfect it might seem but it's a picture I would never hang on my wall.

See,

I've never experienced a quiet day.

It's either you're yelling or breaking my spirit down.

I hold in my laughter of sarcasm though every time you reprimand me and say "I've taught you things, use them" because I have had to adopt cultures from elsewhere for you were never here to install yours in me...

I DON'T KNOW YOU

And I'm not ashamed of saying it.

You don't know me either even though you like to think you do.

I am not you,

I could never be.

Maybe it's time you start accepting that.

I just want to walk out

And go somewhere.

Then maybe while I'm gone,

You'll learn to love the me that I actually am.

Ayoola Mè